The Picture-Perfect Life: Going from Happy Family to Kicked Out of my Own Home
BACK TO MY SON AND I BEING ILLEGALLY KICKED OUT OF OUR HOUSE…
At this point, two days had passed since the car accident. I was at the hospital visiting my son's father; he was in a coma and on life support.
I was splitting my time in three ways.
At the hospital, at home and breastfeeding, or at work. I don’t know till this day how I managed to get it all done, I just did…
That night, my son’s paternal grandmother told me that she needed the spare key to our home. She wanted to be closer to the hospital and have a place to shower and sleep.
Okay, so we're going to keep a tab of the many times I was disrespected throughout this entire process and how I responded to it all.
When she asked me for the key, I was caught off guard a bit because I don’t give people keys to my home where my personal belongings and documents are.
To my factual understanding, the paternal grandmother texted me a month prior to the accident explaining to me that she was going through a separation with my boyfriend's stepfather. She explained to me that she was residing at her youngest son’s apartment.
My boyfriend briefly explained the matter to me and said that his mom wanted to stay at our home. However, he didn’t want her there in our personal business—in which I understood and stayed completely out of. I felt that he had it handled and didn’t need further commentary from me. On the other hand, I think that his mom got the impression that it was me who didn’t want her in our home.
Now, back to the night that she asked me for the key… at this time, I was still hopeful that my boyfriend would pull through his accident and things would go back to our normal life. So, I gave his mom a suggestion to go to my parents' home which was 15 minutes closer to the hospital than our home was and my parents agreed upon it. She even agreed to it.
To my complete (and mouth-dropping surprise), my boyfriend’s mother and my son's grandmother had completely different plans in store.
ARE YOU READY FOR THIS???
We are now entering day three after the accident and I’m out working. I get a phone call from my security company that two men are in my home trying to figure out how to deactivate my entrance/exit code so I can no longer have access to the home me and my son resided in…
Let's do a quick Q/A…
Q: Who were the men that broke into my home and called my security company... Oh, may I add, a utility in my name that I paid?
A: My boyfriend’s father and oldest brother…
Q: How did they get into the home in the first place? How did they get my alarm to not go off and alert the police station?
A: They went to the impound that my boyfriend's car was at and retrieved his keys. On his keys was a key fog that you push to turn the alarm off…
Q: What did they do once they entered my home?
A: They changed every lock on every door and tried to deactivate my entrance/exit code. However, they were unsuccessful because legally the company could not walk them through how to do it.
Q: Who ordered them to go to my home in the first place to lock me out?
A: Hmmm…the very woman that wanted to take a shower and lay her head down on one of the beds that I owned. My boyfriend’s mother!
Oh, but guess what? The queen didn’t do her own dirty work... she involved my boyfriend's father, brother and stepmother by making this huge scene at the hospital. She was ranting and raving about how I am denying her access to her son's home.
Not my home and baby’s home too…but her son’s home!
Side Note (to anyone): Whether your residence is in your name or not doesn’t give anyone the right to illegally throw you out without proper protocol through the courts served to you.
When my boyfriend purchased our home, it wasn’t ready for us to move in yet. It was in the final stages of being built. Before the accident, only him and myself resided in the home for 6 months. In addition, we were the only ones receiving bills to that address.
Do you know what’s funny about having multiple people in on a dirty plot?
There is always one that is going to rat on everybody in detail. In this case, it was my boyfriend’s step-mother.
She called and told me exactly how it happened. She explained that my boyfriend's mother made such a scene at the hospital that it motivated her husband and stepson to change the locks. Their goal was to get a new set of keys for her to use however she pleased.
The stepmother was even an accessory to the plot because she sat in the car as they broke into my home. I guess they wanted someone on the lookout, to make sure I didn’t come home while they were kicking me out.
However, after I got off the phone with my security company, I called my father to inform him of what was going on. He called my boyfriend's mom to see why I was being put out of my home and informed her that I was on my way with the sheriff there.
But, of course, the “Academy Award Nominee," in which I like to call her, pretended that she knew nothing about what was going on because she was at the hospital by my boyfriend’s side.
In real time, however, she called my boyfriend’s father as soon as she hung up with my father, and told him to hurry up because I was on the way. It took me about 25 minutes after speaking with my security company to get to my home.
Low and behold, they had done their dirty work and gone in the wind.
When I got to the home, the sheriff informed me of my rights since I had proof of residency…
Let me give you a little insight into a few proof of residency items:
- utility bill
- drivers license with address
- bank statement
- mortgage account/proof of home ownership
The sheriff told me that I was in my jurisdiction to break into my home, change my locks again... and if they came back to the home, I could file charges on trespassing and harassment.
When you turn 18 years old, you're officially an adult and your parents are no longer your legal guardians. So, just because their son was in a coma did not automatically grant them legal guardianship to take over everything. They still needed to go through the proper procedures in handling his affairs.
They were out of their jurisdiction to throw me and their 3-week old grandson out of our home.
The night I was kicked out of my house, I went to the hospital to visit and pray over my boyfriend.
You know when a person is in a coma, they say if you talk to them sometimes they can hear you and when they awake they can recall certain conversations you had with them. I was so hoping this was true.
So, it was just me and him in the room and mind you he was on life support fighting to live… I didn’t want to tell him what was going on and make him have a heart attack but what I did tell him was to fight for me and his two babies because we badly needed him. I told him that sooner than later, we might get torn apart—so to please come back in his right mind to know who we are and what our life was.
He had suffered a severe traumatic brain injury, so at the time the doctors weren’t sure how bad... they were just mainly focused on stopping the bleeding and swelling on his brain…
So, a day later after I broke into my home, you would not believe what was on the other side of the door…
P.S. You may be wondering at this point why I'm sharing such a personal story. And what does it have to do with my online business?
Well, there are two questions I've been pondering the last couple years, and I can try to answer them both as thoroughly as I can.
How did this moment affect me growing my business and working a part-time job?
I never once put my online shops on "vacation mode" nor did I stop working a part-time job on the side that supported my baby's essentials--clothes, food, milk, pampers, wipes, etc.
My son's paternal family was so busy being nasty that they forgot their was an infant that needed support. So, I had to tough out my feelings and keep my focus on supporting their son's infant and myself. No one outside of my immediate family and friends knew to the degree of what I was going through.
How did my emotions and depression at the time affect my performance as a mother to my infant?
I struggled badly at the time with a broken heart. My boyfriend's family treated me as if I had no feelings or was not devastated that I was losing the father of my son as a soulmate and life partner.
I was supported by my family and was unsupported by them. Having their support mattered to me too because they are the paternal family of my son which is the best next thing to his father.
This is why I live by the following philosophy:
When you feel unsupported, dig deep within to support yourself--however that may look, you have no choice.
So where I didn't feel supported, I mustered up the strength to get through so that my son could have the best experiences of me as much as possible--despite how I truly felt.
It honestly took darkness and devastation to lead me to the path of independence, self love, undeniable strength and motivation to succeed. I believe that sometimes you have to be broken in order to manifest into the person and life you desire.