Hey girl heeeyyy!!! Sooo...Let's talk about the whispering and opinions that everyone else, other than yourself, has about your life. When I became a single mom, first thing a good grip of people did was had sympathy...then talked about me behind my back...then asked me a plethora of questions to see where my mind was and what type of moves I was going to make. If I could give any gossiping soul advice after their done talking about someone, it would be...not to say don't tell that person you're gossiping about. A long time ago, my father told me that a secret is no longer a secret once you tell one person--100% true. Doesn't matter how much you trust a person--piss them off and see where your secrets will go! To that point, I could of took what I heard to heart and let it hold me back from what I wanted to do and pursue. Instead, I decided to daily remind myself to stay the course, despite the opinions of others.
So, the question is..How do I overcome opinions?...Well it started a long time ago when I wanted to create my own livelihood. I had more naysayers than support. If I could fraction it out (no exaggeration), it would be 4%(yay) to 96%(nay)..However, I chose to cling onto the 4% and put the 96% in my back pocket--in case I needed to sit on them. I knew I had to focus on creating my support system through my customer base. I also knew there was a 50/50 chance that I would fail or make it. But, I never looked at failing as an option because if I did then that meant I'd have to work for somebody else. So, over the years, I decided to sacrifice in areas of my burning wants to follow my dreams of creating my own. By being the odd ball out amongst my peers...I've been scrutinized and laughed at numerous times. Let me explain what I mean...entrepreneurs make up a small percentage of the world..it's honestly way too hard to everyday figure out how you're going to make your income as opposed to knowing exactly how you're going to make your income. When you are an entrepreneur, you have to always reinvent yourself and come up with your next hit. Or re-market whatever it is you're doing multiple clever ways. Now, here's one for the books that we can all agree on whether you're an entrepreneur or not--YOU'RE ONLY AS GOOD AS YOUR LAST GOOD DAY! Example, I can come out with a hit product today--get a lot of traction---lots of sales, etc...Then, three months down the road, I can come out with another product that I believe is going to be a hit--but it flops and now people aren't interested and moving on to the next company with a hit--completely forgetting about how much they loved the last product. Another example, in sports, the quarterback scores a winning touchdown--he's the hero for the team and fans. One week later, he scores no touchdowns--now he's considered a weak link, the fans have lost hope in his abilities, etc...completely forgetting about what he did the prior week. This is the name of the game--you're only as good as your last victory. Same, rule applies in Corporate America. However, if you let the negativity in opinions of others take you out, you'll never get back on track to another hit or know how far you could've gone. For me, I'm always motivated by how far I (emphasis on "I" and not others) can go!
The people that talk about you or judge you most, are typically the ones not happy with their own lives. I'm hear to tell you this is something I "still" struggle to understand. But, in business, you will NEVER survive being sensitive and attacking every person back that attacks you. Beyonce, does it best--she addresses all her critics in her songs. But, I have yet to see her on a media outlet addressing or cursing out individuals who scrutinize her. BRAVO!!! As hard as it is, you really have to learn that no response is a response. At the end of the day, Beyonce is laughing to the bank, several times a week. However, that critic or naysayer probably isn't. For me, this is the struggling approach I have to take about 99.9% of the time. My brother is four years younger than me and told me something that he didn't know would actually help me through several situations...He said, "Diamond, when people are nasty towards you in their attitudes or behavior--let them have it. If you react to them, you're just temporarily satisfying and belittling yourself to their level. Instead, Karma will do its job and doesn't require your help."
In conclusion, let people talk until their blue in the face. Turn their negativity into your positive! Think of it like this--if they weren't talking about you then you're irrelevant. So keep yourself relevant by doing you despite what it looks like on the outside to others. Your end goal is to see how far you can go with whatever you're trying to achieve. Those same laughing people will be there cheering you on as your success starts to unfold. Slow and steady wins the race..being too fast don't last! Stay your course.
From one single mom to another-- Don't let your light dim!
P.S. Remember your dreams are not for anyone else to understand. They are for you to nourish and build into something. When people talk about me now, I think to myself if they only knew what I've accomplished in these short 2 1/2 years of having my son. Sometimes, I step back and it still amazes me how far I've come. My stresses now are on a whole new growth level than they were two years ago. It actually took that I needed to become a single mom to shape up and start accomplishing my dreams. I took the sour lemons that weren't meant to break me and been stirring up some good ole fashion lemonade! Now, it's your turn to do it, too!