The Picture-Perfect Life: My Personal Journey through Motherhood
Have you ever envisioned a picture-perfect life for yourself? I certainly did, and I’ve found myself journaling about it a lot lately.
The year was 2015, and I was on cloud 9! I was with a man who I finally knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
I was pregnant with our baby boy, Princeton.
Mid-year, he surprised me with the keys to our newly built home and life was great!
He already had a little girl from a previous relationship who was 4 at the time. She and I had built a little special bond that actually helped to prepare me for motherhood. Oh, how I love that little girl so much! However, her mother and I did not have a good relationship because her father moved on.
Lesson Learned: Life is Too Short!
Now that I look back at it all, it sucks whenever one moves on faster than the other. Unfortunately, the new person gets all the backlash from the previous person. Because I was the new person, she pushed her leftover hurt feelings onto me.
I will NOT waste ever again years of allowing someone’s ex put me through hell.
Note to self: If a man has not fully closed up the chapter to his ex ---NEXT!
During that entire year, we focused on decorating and nesting in our new home. Everything was happening so fast—so we wanted to make sure that we were fully ready for our bundle of joy. It was important for us both to make sure that his daughter was included in the process because, at the time, she was the only child on both sides—so we wanted it to be a great transition for her too.
I had a very easy pregnancy which I was so thankful for. A year and a half earlier, I had a miscarriage which frightened me into thinking that something was wrong with my body. It made me think that perhaps I couldn’t carry children.
So, I took it extremely easy during my son’s pregnancy…whenever you experience a miscarriage and get pregnant again, you tend to not make a big deal out of it until you’ve made it through the first trimester.
I truly lived my best life in 2015 and took a break from any of life’s stresses so I could have a full-term, healthy pregnancy. That meant Gehati, my handmade product company, was put on hold as well.
Our baby shower that year was in November… we had 115 guests who attended and showered us with everything we needed to get started on our parenting journey.
After that, we sat down in our new home and discussed our future plans.
In January 2016 our baby was due, and at the end of that year, we were going to plan a wedding. We talked about starting a family business in buying and flipping homes.
Business was well at my boyfriend’s family-owned dealership. Our mortgage was paid up months ahead of time.
What I loved about my pregnancy was the support I had of my boyfriend and family. We shared many laughable moments, dinners, birthdays, holiday parties, etc.
We had so much fun getting ready for the arrival of our little Prince, hence the name Princeton.
We had our down moments but the good times outweighed it.
The thing I enjoyed most about our relationship was when we had disagreements we respect one another to voice our opinions and concerns. There was a lot of genuine love in our relationship.
After being with my boyfriend on and off for 3 ½ years, I still got butterflies when he walked into the room.
I still would be excited to see him when he came home. I just knew that he was the one I wanted my kids by because of how he fathered his daughter and adored the ground she walked on. I knew that I wanted him as a husband because of how he treated and made me feel as a woman. We were more like partners through life. We had independent spirits and personalities and complemented one another well.
January 2016 came and it was time for our baby to arrive. His due date was the 20th but he came on the 21st.
My pregnancy started at home in the wee hours of the morning. I lost my mucus plug and started contracting. I got in the bathtub several times thinking that would ease the contractions but not knowing that I was speeding up the contractions.
Side Note to expecting mommy’s: DO NOT EVER get in the tub when you start contractions.
My boyfriend would not get up to help me or call a doctor. Hmmm…I should of known then his behavior during that time was leading to something… but I completely ignored it because I was in the middle of having a baby.
So, by the time I couldn’t take it anymore and felt that I was on the floor having the baby, he finally jumped up and took me to the hospital. I was contracting every 3 minutes and had a 40-minute drive through rush hour traffic to get to the hospital.
As soon as I got to the hospital, I was immediately rushed to labor and delivery. Before I knew it, I was pushing our baby out! I had a natural delivery but had to stay at the hospital for 48 hours.
I expected him to stay with me in which the first night he did. But, the second day he went to work for a full day. Mind you, he was one of the owners of his company—which means he technically had the flexibility to stay by my side.
So, at least when he got off work and made it to the hospital, I thought he would stay the night with me and the baby… but he only just dropped by and went home. My mom actually took his place and rearranged her busy work schedule to be by my side the entire hospital stay.